"Human beings never think for themselves, they find it too uncomfortable. For the most part, members of our species simply repeat what they are told--and become upset if they are exposed to any different view. The characteristic human trait is not awareness but conformity...Other animals fight for territory or food; but, uniquely in the animal kingdom, human beings fight for their 'beliefs'...The reason is that beliefs guide behavior, which has evolutionary importance among human beings. But at a time when our behavior may well lead us to extinction, I see no reason to assume we have any awareness at all. We are stubborn, self-destructive conformists. Any other view of our species is just a self-congratulatory delusion." - Michael Crichton, The Lost World

Thursday, February 1, 2007

Trading Jokes: Cow Economics

TRADITIONAL ECONOMICS
You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies and the economy grows. You retire on the income.


INDIAN ECONOMICS
You have two cows. You worship them.


PAKISTAN ECONOMICS
You don’t have any cows, for you ate all of them and you do not know how to produce cow; You claim that most of Indian cows belong to you. You ask the US for financial aid, China for military aid, British for Warplanes, Italy for machines, Germany for technology, French for submarines, Switzerland for loans, Russia for drugs and Japan for equipment. You buy the cows with all this and claim of exploitation by the world. Eat the cows, you will be left with no Cows. Start the cycle once again, claim…


AMERICAN ECONOMICS
You have two cows. You sell one and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You profess surprise when the cow drops dead, to give a scientific explanation, allocate research funding out of public exchequer, to find out what really happened.


FRENCH ECONOMICS
You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows. May be world can face another cow revolution.


GERMAN ECONOMICS
You have two cows. You re engineer them so that they live for 100 years, eat once a month and milk themselves.


BRITISH ECONOMICS
You have two cows. Teach them meat eating. Feed them dead sheep, so they grow hefty. Now, they are both mad cows.


ITALIAN ECONOMICS
You have two cows. You don’t know where they are. You break for lunch, eat Italian Veg Pizza.


SWISS ECONOMICS
You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them. Distribute secret codes, to establish ownership.


JAPANESE ECONOMICS
You have two cows. You redesign them so that they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create cute cartoon cow images called Cowkimon and market them worldwide.


RUSSIAN ECONOMICS
You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 17 cows. You give up counting and open another bottle of vodka.


CHINESE ECONOMICS
You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity and arrest anyone reporting the actual numbers.

Posted 5:44 PM

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